It’s funny that my first and last pics of the day were from the same vantage point. The last of the day is hoping to dry out my waterlogged shoes.
I wrote this at the train station (then filling in now):
On my walk towards Chocolate Nation, I heard a Baby crying. At the same time as I was registering the sound, I heard someone, a male voice say, “What a hideous sound.” I can’t quite remember the accent, but it was obviously English because I understood.
My mama-response was to look and see if someone needed assistance … I don’t think they did, it was a mom just trying to cover up her babe in the rain, and they looked fine. Fine.
But that response from that guy. Wow. Where are you? Where does that come from? I was angry at first, and judge-y, but then I stepped back. Who knows where he comes from that he would be bothered by a baby’s cry. Who knows what programming. Who knows what pain.
Anyway … lol. I clearly had this whole existential universe “what is” vibe going on my remaining walk to the CHOCOLATE MUSEUM.
Which was … freaking spectacular. I was woefully uniformed, although I had some ideas, about what actually goes into making chocolate. Frick. We’re lucky af to actually get the stuff, based on the process.
Met a person from Suriname who spoke PERFECT ENGLISH. They had amazing energy. They said they learned English from watching TV. Like literally NO accent. Whoa.
Bought a Chocolate Nation-branded umbrella for 9.50.
Because how much better are you gonna do in a downpour. Fucking pay the money.
Perspectives
On to the Train Station.
Dove hand. I sat in the train station for about an hour. Out of the rain. Listening. Watching.
Group of school kids cacophony of little voices.
Rain.
Nowhere to be.
A group of 4-5 people asked me to take their picture in front of the dove sculpture. I took more on the camera phone as they were assembling. Because those are the best ones. But once they got situated, I realized they were blocking the landmark sculpture, so I made them spread out and re-framed the pic. I don’t know, but hopefully they got a good one from it …
Luxury
I know I have choices
I’m gonna schlep in the rain to see the city because I want to.
How much can I remember
How much can I put in my heart
To not forget sitting here.
The noises
The smells
How much are we expected to remember?
Without the social media snaps
But as it pertains to shaping our human experience
And what we know
And what we don’t know
Ohhhhh fucking what we don’t know
Every second I pause to wonder about what I’m supposed to write, I look up and gasp.
Where I’m sitting
It says shut up and be here.
But yes I have the luxury
Sitting in the train station
Watching
My butt is cold
My seat is hard
My heart is warm
Then I went to the tunnel. The wooden escalator was cool. I started walking through the tunnel. My phone battery was about 37% and I didn’t know how long the walk was. I had read that the escalator was the highlight, and honestly, it was all bikers here — it’s a way to get across the water. There were literally no other walkers besides me. It’s a commute … so I walked for a few minutes, but then turned back. I don’t HAVE TO DO ANYTHING. I DON’T HAVE TO GET THERE.
I’ve thought so much about shoulds and coulds.
But my second guess response is OUT OF ORDER. Fuck it.
I am spectacularly happy doing this the way that I’m doing it.
So what am I missing?
I think nothing.
If you walk in the moment, and feel and see and absorb every second, what else is there? What are you missing?
I was a tiny bit sad I didn’t see ALLLL the vistas in Cinque Terre, but I LOVED EVERY SECOND of what I did. So did I miss anything?
Every second is an experience. Sometimes they are freaking GRAND, and sometimes, it’s drying out your shoes.
SO! Hit the store for some more yummy rolls and meat and I’m cozy in my bed at 6:42pm (my time)
Fb:
Got super existential today (more blog ramblings). Included real-time sharing pics with my sis while we were talking + chocolate.
What if every minute is perfect?
I have these conversations with myself … woulds and coulds and shoulds.
But what if you know that every moment is perfect and just be there?
I’ll tell you what. You smile. And it is good.
Day 21: Day 2 in Antwerp + Chocolate Nation + Train Station, etc.
