Holy Grail Guacamole


  • 5 large avocados (e.g. costco bag)
  • 5-6 roma-sized tomatoes
  • 1 small-med onion (sweet? go big, red? depends. can be strong or mild. white? can overtake)
  • 1 bunch of cilantro (yes – the WHOLE BUNCH – do not be shy. what are you gonna do with the leftovers anyway? well… put it on everything? OK. whatever.)
  • 2-4 limes.(I have had "step up to the plate" limes, and "you can squeeze me but I won't satisfy your need for superior south/central american citrus base limes."). Whatever, I would say no LESS than 1/4 cup. Probably. always more.
  • 4 T minced garlic (a la costco)
  • 2 T apple cider vinegar (it's a pH thing).
  • 1 T honey. (to me, almost EVERYTHING tastes better a little sweet. Do with this what you will).
  • 1  tsp sea salt
  • 2 tsp red pepper flakes
  • 2.5 tsp smoke seasoning (trader joes)
  • 1/2 tsp black pepper
  • 2 tsp cayenne pepper (ran out sou use habenaro pepper – total function of how spicy you want this bad boy to be).

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