The Labels We Take On: How They Limit Our Potential – aka Watching our Language. 

First I’m going to read this, then we’ll move to a meditation on the subject.

Article by Jeremy Scott Lambert on tinybuddha.com

“Waking up to who you are requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be.” ~Alan Watts

We live in a society of labels. Everyone will try to label you, including yourself. It’s been happening since the beginning. It takes some honesty and objective reflection to see it, but take a moment or two and really think about it.

Eventually, we each begin to subconsciously believe those labels and we start to feel as though to be whole, to be someone in this world, we need to appease our egos and the voices around us by “fitting-in somewhere,” preferably within those aforementioned labels.

Over time, it becomes the foundation for our lives: “I am this person”…. “I am not this person”… “I can do this”… “I can’t do this.” Our entire persona and sense of reality are sculpted by these labels.

In elementary school, we are quickly classified and reinforced with the ideas that we are smart, not smart, a good student, a bad student, a good reader, a bad reader, too hyper, too shy, athletic, uncoordinated… The list goes on and on. We begin to believe these ideas and take them on to be unquestionable, objective-reality truths.

Fast forward to the present day. Now, more than ever, we begin to believe we have tested ourselves on nearly every level; we know who we are.

While you may or may not still believe and buy into some of those labels from your childhood, I can almost guarantee that you still believe in and adhere to the holy idea of labels. Whether they are intellectual, physical, emotional, spiritual, or political, you still label everything, including yourself.

For most of us, our adult selves are a more concrete and self-actualized reflection of our childhood/teenage selves.

Stepping Out of the Box & Into Your Limitless Potential

When you realize the limits your family, your friends, your teachers, and your ego have set for you, you can take your power back and choose to go beyond those limits. You can become whoever you wish to become, or do whatever you previously and falsely thought you couldn’t.

First, we must each come to terms with what is real and what isn’t real—what is a self-imposed limitation and what is something we know, in our heart of hearts to be true. That, my friends, is the first of two difficult steps to freeing yourself.

Most of us have spent our entire lives, up until right now, believing that most, if not all of those labels are tangible parts of our being, inseparable from the fabric of who we are; they hold everything we are and ever will be.

Even if we know deep down that these labels and ideas are wrong or limiting, we are constantly faced with the subconscious war with fear.

This is and will be the second, and most likely the hardest, obstacle you face as you; as an empowered human being with free will, you must consciously decide to step outside of the familiar box and into the unknown.

You are not a victim of your past and your labels. You are a human being capable of anything you set your heart, mind, and soul on.

So now I want to spend some time in this space thinking about the labels we use. And so we’ll get started. 

Begin meditation

Sit in a comfortable but attentive posture, allowing your back to be straight but not rigid or stiff. Like Ryan says, upright but not uptight 🙂

Feel your head balanced on your shoulders, allow your face and jaw to relax, with arms and hands resting in a comfortable position.

Be attentive to what’s happening within your own awareness, right here and right now, without judgment.

As you sit, begin to notice the sensations of breath. Pay attention for a moment to how your abdomen moves on each in-breath and out-breath, the movement of air through your nostrils, the slight movement of your chest and shoulders.

Find the spot in your body where the sensation of breathing is most vivid, whether it be your abdomen, your chest or your shoulders, or the movement of air through your nostrils. Try to keep your attention at that spot.

As you breathe in, be aware of the in-breath; as you breathe out, be aware of the out-breath. Simply observe the breath going in and the breath going out.

You may notice your attention shifting away from the breath from time to time. It’s perfectly normal for thoughts to wander into fantasies, memories, worries, or things you need to do. When you notice your mind has wandered, try to meet it with a spirit of friendliness. You don’t need to do anything about it. There is nothing to fix. Rather than forcing it, just try to allow yourself to become curious about what it’s like to be breathing right now, and you’ll find that the attention is naturally drawn back to the physical sensations of breath as it moves through your body.

[Three minutes of silence]

Now that we’re hopefully in relaxed mode, I’d like to turn our attention to our language about labels.

I find that we use labels both objectively and subjectively, that is, as who or what we are, and how we are. 

Begin by thinking of a label that you often use to describe yourself objectively. Often these labels are related to identity roles. Notice what arises without judgment. Perhaps it’s “I am a parent,” “I am a student,” I am a skateboarder,  Whatever it is, simply acknowledge it.

Now, repeat this label silently to ourselves, adding the phrase “I am not just this label.” For example, if your label is “I am a parent,” say to yourself, “I am not just a parent.” Allow this statement to sink in. Recognize that your identity is multifaceted and not limited to any one label.

Let’s spend a few breaths thinking of these different labels … It’s sort of a mini biography – how do you describe or identify yourself. For each label, consider the opposite “but I’m not just that label.” 

Who am I

What am I

So for this next part, let’s turn our attention to the way we talk to ourselves, the more subjective labels. Notice if you have a tendency to be self-critical or judgmental. This might be something like, “I’m successful,” or “I’m a good dancer,” or “I procrastinate” or “I’m anxious.”

Focus on whether there are recurring negative phrases or thoughts? Without trying to change anything, simply observe your self-talk. When this has come up for me, I notice when I start a sentence with I don’t or I can’t or I shouldn’t or even I should … 

Now, think about these labels and self talk and pick one or two that are lingering or that stay at the top of your mind. Now gently shift your attention to any physical sensations in your body. Are there areas where you can feel tension or discomfort? Pay attention to these sensations without judgment.

Breathe into these areas of tension, allowing your breath to bring a sense of relaxation and ease. With each breath, imagine you are sending love and kindness to these parts of your body.

Now, let’s explore the origins of these self-judgments and labels. Think back to a time in your life when you first began to believe these labels or thoughts about yourself. Try to recall the circumstances and the feelings associated with that time.

As you remember, acknowledge that these judgments and labels were formed as a way to protect yourself or make sense of difficult experiences. They may have served a purpose in the past, but they no longer define who you are. OR, if a label is still accurate, remember that they might be true, but not the whole truth. 

Visualize yourself gently letting go of these old judgments and labels, like releasing a balloon into the sky. Watch as they float away, becoming smaller and smaller until they disappear into the vast openness of the sky.

Return your attention to your breath, the gentle rhythm of inhaling and exhaling.

Imagine that you are a compassionate observer of your own mind, like a friend who is here to support and understand you.

[Breathe deeply.]

Now, bring to mind some positive affirmations or self-compassionate statements. These are statements that counteract the negative judgments and labels you’ve held about yourself. For example, “I am worthy of love and acceptance,” “I am resilient,” or “I am enough just as I am.”

Repeat these affirmations silently to yourself, allowing the words to sink in and replace the old labels & self-talk. Feel the warmth and kindness of these affirmations embracing your entire being.

As you continue to breathe and repeat these affirmations, notice how your body and mind respond. Feel the shift in your self-perception and your sense of self-worth.

[Breathe deeply.]

And as you reflect and breathe, also Reflect on the nature of labels. Consider how labels are like mental shortcuts that we use to categorize our experiences. They can be helpful, but they can also lead to misunderstanding and judgment. Notice how your mind creates labels to make sense of the world. 

Let go of the labeling practice and simply observe your thoughts, feelings, and sensations without attaching any labels. Notice how this direct observation differs from labeling. Allow your awareness to flow effortlessly.

As with many things we learn here, noticing how we label ourselves and awareness of our language is a practice. Something that we’ve automatically done for years will take time to change, and it’s never about perfection.

As we come to the end of this practice, let’s think on these things …

I am so many things. 

I can be so many things.

I have freedom to change.  

I am not stuck. 

I am not my thoughts or my labels.

I am energy.

I can transform.

I am energy.

I can transform.

Gently bring your attention back to your breath for the last few moments. Take a few deep breaths and feel a sense of gratitude for this practice.

And just breathe.

When you’re ready, slowly open your eyes and take a moment to reorient yourself to your surroundings.

 

Refuge does not arise in a particular place, but in the space within the goodness of our hearts. 

 

When this space is imbued with wisdom, respect, and love, we call it sangha. 

 

We hope that the pain of addiction, trauma, and feeling “apart” actually leads us back toward the heart and that we might understand compassion, wisdom, and change ever more deeply. 

 

As we have learned from practice, great pain does not erase goodness, but in fact informs it.

 

May we make the best use of our practice, and whatever freedom arises from our efforts here today. 

 

May this be a cause and condition for less suffering and more safety in our world.