Out of the mouths of babes

The following words are the content of emails that I send to Kevin at work during the day when Jaeger does or says something funny. I thought you might enjoy them. They aren’t in any order.

On the subject of lunch:
I asked him what he wanted, gave him a list of things to choose from including Ravioli. He said “Ravioli is messy. I don’t want Ravioli. Ravioli is stupid because it gets on my shirt. That is why it is stupid.”
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Then later,
“Mom, what do we put in bad guys’ ice cream?” I replied, “how about sleeping powder,” and then he said, “and then the bad guys will get diarrhea, and then they will have to go to the bathroom, and then they won’t have diarrhea anymore and they can’t get us.” (This was because we had watched The Iron Giant on video and they put something in the bad guy’s ice cream to make him have diarrhea).
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We stopped by a hair/nail salon by Trader Joes, and Jaeger was “helping” me carry Maya in her carrier. The people that worked there thought he was cute and were commenting on how he was so helpful. At one point, I had set the carrier down by the counter and was about 5 feet away. Jaeger was sitting RIGHT by her however, and I didn’t see it, but I THINK one of the employees bent down to see her and he BLOCKED her (in the classic arm-out style), because then they were laughing and saying how protective he was.
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We went to Top Foods in Woodinville to get some lunch. When we walked in, he said, “wow, I’m hungry, I’m so hungry I could eat a whole elephant.”
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On the way home:
Jaeger: “Mom, why is she crying,” to Maya: “it’s okay baby, don’t cry, I am your big brother.”
Me: She cries a lot because she doesn’t know how to use words to tell us what’s wrong”
Jaeger: “And when she is big, as big as all the way up to my chin, then she will use words. She will say ‘hi’ and ‘how’re you doing’ and ‘hey’ and ‘what color is your house’ and ‘what color is your car’ and she will say ‘my minivan is white, and my house is white’ and all sorts of other tings.”
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He was watching TV and he yelled that he had to tinkle. I said, Ok, come on in the bathroom. He started walking down the hall and I asked him if he had already tinkled, or whether he still had to go. He said, “well, I just tinkled a little bit.” So we got him on the pot, but just a few seconds later he said, “I think I already tinkled in my diaper, but can I have a toilet sticker for working really really hard?”

We compromised with a different sticker.
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I bribed Jaeger to eat his breakfast quickly this morning by telling him he could have a candy after he ate. He just proclaimed: “I want an eyeball candy after I finish my dinner!” 🙂
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Boy, candy is a good motivator – he finished his eggs in record time. 🙂 I was in the office, and it only took him about 5 minutes to yell, “mom, I’m finished with my dinner!.”
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This morning we were in Jaeger’s bedroom getting him dressed. He went over to his lego school bus where he had put that snowcat sticker and started telling me about it:

“And this goes on top of the tracks, and then it goes on top of the snow.”
No response from me.
“HEY MOM, ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? This goes on top of the tracks, and then it goes on top of the snow, and then it goes on top of the mountain, and it carries all the people, and then they get their skis and snowboards out.”
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A few snippets from our conversation on the way to preschool this morning:

J: “Mom, I am going learn how to build buildings at school and is this my hard hat? (baseball cap)”
J: “And will you need a hard hat mom?”
Me: “Well, when I come and visit you when you’re building buildings I will need a hard hat to be safe.”
J: “Yeah, and when the baby comes out then you will need a hard hat.”

J: “I am going to be a backhoe driver, and somebody else is going to be the dump truck driver, and I am going to get houses at costco and if you don’t like one of the houses then I will build you a different one in coeur d’alene.”
Me: “Wow, that would be great.”
J: “Yeah and I will drive my backhoe and knock down the houses that you don’t like, and build you ones you do like in coeur d’alene.”

Something to that effect… 🙂
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